Germany beats Ukraine in fashion, 2-0 in Lille for the 2016 Euro Cup Group C

I can make it.

Yup, that was my mantra the whole day. Repeat: I can make it.

And I did! I was on my resting bitch face mode from 7:00 AM to around 10:00 AM. I was uninterested with my local reality.

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Photo from Die Mannschaft‘s Official Facebook Fanpage

I woke up at 2:50 AM, tuned in to a live stream with Spanish commentators and did not understand a freaking thing that even the German players’ names were sabotaged, almost fell off my chair with that Jerome Boateng save, felt blessed with Manuel Neuer‘s save while inside/within his box, almost threw my phone away with Shkodran Mustafi‘s almost own goal (the joke could have been what Shkodran giveth he taketh away), laughed my fat ass off because Manu got bored and decided to visit the midfield again, cursed the lag on my stream (it’s a good five minutes ISTFG!), gaped at a Mesut Oezil challenge with the Ukrainian goalkeeper (you know shit’s going down if Mesut decides to take matters in his own hands) and…wait, where was I?

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Manu is a regular but a bit unwanted and really peculiar fixture in the midfield.

Okay, despite all the boo-boos (and I got so distracted at Joachim Löw’s armpits but WTF there were bigger things that happened aside from his wet underarms — touched crotch, smelled it, scratched ass, smelled it, shook referee’s hands too…boom!) the game wrapped up really well, in favor of the Germans (Die Mannschaft). Full time score was 2-0 versus Ukraine in the Euro Cup 2016 (Group Stage).

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Is it too much to ask for you to come back…home? #Bayern

Two goals courtesy of Shkodran Mustafi at 19′ and… Bastian Schweinsteiger at 92′ just two or three minutes off the bench gave Germany the early lead for Group C:

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Next stop? Poland.

Uhmmm Lewy, just keep your cool okay? We’re good.

Germany vs. Poland = mispronunciation galore! Agree? E.g. Jakub Błaszczykowski, Wojciech Tomasz Szczęsny haha

By the way, I am leaving you with my favorite photo of Shkodran:

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Can you guess where exactly this clip is from?

 

PS. Sebastian Vettel placed second in the Canadian Grand Prix. Too bad I was not able to watch the race. I look forward to the day that you will win again and again and again! I love you Seb.

 

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